London is for Laughter

I don't know why
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

So, I'm in London. Ye Olde London.

I've probably had the range of emotions of a schizophrenic, but who doesn't when they do something like this?

I typed in "British Dude" in google and this was one of the images that came up. I don't know why. (bytheway: I don't like that show.)

So, my flat is pretty big, and looks like a British flat. Bridget is very jealous and I have nothing to say to make her feel better. She just got here today though and I felt like complete shit first getting here.

I love New York much it's incredible.

There shouldn't even be maps of London, they can't fit a quarter of the fucking street names on that shit, and they need to come up with more names so there aren't: Prince St. Prince Ct, Prince Rd, Prince Mews, Prince Lane, etc. Brits are supposed to be masters of the written word, so get on top of that.

But its only getting better. Settling in, gelling with certain people, learning more than just the "allsmiles" type of personality for most people. Changing my minds about people, for the better mostly.

If Alice wasn't here I probably would've called home crying wanting to come home, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'd love to say I'm the type that can just make the best of it and let loose, but I'm not; I think I'm too honest to do that because that involves faking way too much, doesn't it? But slowly but surely, I'm getting to the point where I don't have to do that with people.

One flat mate, Matt, told me while drunk that his first impression of me was that I'd be the roommate that makes trouble- and that peeved me off, even though it's probably true. Well, it's definitely true, but only I can say that about myself. But he's nice actually so I've let it slide, slightly.

School: Its going to be tough. Its fucking all the time! And I know its only theatre and shit, but seriously, I've never done it and it sounds so intense and requires so much energy, that I just don't know what to think.

Thank God I have my computer now, it will keep me alive, I can guarantee that.

Don't think I haven't been laughing. I have been but you just can't hear me laughing because I laugh silently which seems to be very rare...I'm being vague on purpose, I suppose. Hopefully, most of you people reading this, (my five friends) will get this.

Tonight, Alice, Bridget, myself, and maybe some other people will be going to Leicester Square, which has been recommended by a few people we know.

More later, with some pictures hopefully. I still need an adapter for my camera. I'll work on it.

Ugh- Star Wars Evil...*cough* Hayden Christensen...gay, too.

That's Right Christians- FIGHT BACK
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

This picture comes from the website toolofsatan.org. Pretty fucking hilarious right? Click on the picture to get a better look at it. These "Crazy Christians" believe that "The Force" is evil. Think about it: this fictitious energy from a MOVIE is evil. I thought it was ridiculous that they devoutely believed this.

But then I realized, after looking at pictures of fans of Star Wars waiting in line to see the movie, and after a personal experience of seeing the movie opening day, I realized these crazy fools were on to something. There are people in this world who probably believe in the Force.

Well, long story short, I hate them both and here's why:

Things I hate about Crazy Christians:
1. How they always fucking button their goddamn top button but don't wear a tie so they look like a fucking retard.
2. How they always have a southern accent no matter where they're from, even the Northeast.
3. How they act like they're all nice, but given the chance would probably really enjoy slowly killing a "homoseshual" or a "baby killer whore".
4. How they're all ugly.
5. How they control our federal government.

Things I hate about Star Wars Fans:
1. Their huge tees with graphics on them, and their fucking (pardon the racial slur) spic 'staches. They all are trying to grow a goddamn beard or whatever and end up getting four hairs that they cultivate into whiskers like a fucking cat, even if they're like 40 and should be capable of growing a full beard. They need to understand that if they get caught in a tight place they should be able to comprehend the situation without using their whiskers for help.
2. How they all act like they know everything in the world, when they in fact know a lot about Star Wars and little about anything else, like current events, or what a vagina looks like. (that's right, I made the typical "no sex" joke, but you all fucking know its true).
3. How they ruin the movie for everyone else by clapping and cheering at random moments of the movie, making it uncomfortable for the non-geek. Its a sad situation when a bunch of freaks make the normal person feel like he is "less that" or "imperfect". Don't try to reverse the roles, faggots, leave things as they lie.
4. How they're all ugly.
5. How they think its appropriate to go out into society being the way they are.
I HATE THEM ALL!

Well I'm Back

Ahhhh Summer...
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

and no I won't have a nervous breakdown like one of my hero's Dave Chapelle. He'll be back people, don't frete your tete.

I haven't posted for a while, I know, and that last post was completely homo of me, but still, find that album, ferrealz.

Well, a lot is happening now- finals and school ending, starting my job again soon, John's coming back from Florence (aka- that means dropping some "loose baggage" {boring friends} if you knows what I means *cough*), so I thought I'd start this up again. NOTE: I added the "boring friends" part because I thought it would be too vague without it.

Anywho:
I typed in "Summer" into Google and I got this picture back. I guess its summer.
I see some ice cream, um, that's summery, right? Women of mid-eastern descent? That's total summer.
That one pale white kid who has some sort of fetish for mid-eastern girls? That's def summer.

You know what I just realized? These are defintely med students. They all fit the profile of ER (the show) type of medical students, except they're not models. Side note, who else is happy Noah Wyle is leaving ER? No one? What? You didn't even know he was leaving? Oh, well actually he'll be coming back for some episodes next season. Yes, I looked that up, so? I know Lou knows, but does that make things better?

So, yeah, I'll be back, with funnier things to say, I hope. Britney's beyond insulting, isn't she? I say get that baby out and move on, sister. Tone up record an album with one good song and make some more millions cause you a P.i.M.P. (Put it In My Pocket)!!!


Peace it Bitches!
Leave a comment to let me knw you've read this? Thanks, I'm insecure like that.

New Fiona Apple Album Leaked- ball in motion

Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

Okay, so this new album has all leaked within the past week. Well, truthfully there have been two songs out there for a while, the title track and "Better Version of Me". But now they're all out, and they're all incredible. Find them now.

This should be a start. Good luck, it's seriously worth it, even two songs.

Ahh Regrets....

Wild Wild West
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

Well Will, I recently discovered that you rejected "The Matix" so you could pursue other ventures, mainly "Wild Wild West". And...truthfully, Will, I could see what you were thinking. I mean, you got Salma Hayek, who is hot like woah and completely incomprehensible (speaking neither spanish nor english in films), and Kevin Kline, who is an "acteur". He doesn't just act- he ACTS or a.c.t.s. or AAACCCCCCTTTTSSSSSS. He can do it all, Will, I get it, he makes you look legit.

And all the while, these people are willing to do a film that is so fun and mainstream, you can even write an original song for it, the huge HUGE hit "Nod Ya Head". **EDIT: I realize now after being contacted by friends, that "Nod Ya Head" is from Men In Black 2". I'm an idiot because I now remember that the song for "Wild Wild West" is called none other than "Wild Wild West". I apoligize to my readers for this failure**. You had me nodding my head- but honestly, it was side to side because I didn't like the song at all. It was terrible but I think you know that, right? However, I will concede that it wasn't so bad that it won the Oscar, which is usually a sign for a repulsive song.

Also, Chris Rock was honest about Pootie Tang, he knew it was a bad movie. So, I would like to hear you say, just once, that you know you made a mistake making "Wild Wild West". Reading random news sources today, I discovered that you do not regret turning down "The Matrix" because you feel Keanu was "born to play the role".

That's a quote.

At first, I was like, "What?!" But then I was thinking about it and I realized that Corky was born to play the role he did on "Life Goes On" (meaning he was born with Downs Syndrome). So I guess I see what you mean. Except, maybe Keanu would've made a better Corky than Corky himself...I don't know, Will, I'm just thinking out loud.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you Will is that you are on a thin line. "Hitch" is not that movie. "Independence Day" was great, GREAT; I can remember the audience of the hick Pennsylvania theatre I saw it in clapped at the end, and I had to clap too or I would be shot. "Men in Black" was a little gay and cheesy, I wasn't a fan, but tons of people were, so maybe even something like, I wouldn't hold it against you. I don't have to like everything.

Oh, and I would say good job for getting on "Inside the Actors' Studio", but they're seriously letting anyone do that show now. Peace it, Will, we'll talk later.

Cancer=Attention YAY!

Say You saw this guy- apparently he cures cancer like that (snaps fingers)
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

What's the new chic thing to do as a young college student these days? Fake cancer, that's what. Feeling like your friends aren't really paying much attention to you? Get a tumor! Missing that spice of life recently? Get some "chemo"! Seriously, a new trend has been growing in which desperate young men and women have gone to this incredibly low depth to get a few more phone calls a week. And it works in some ways, but in others it doesn't. Many have made some crucial mistakes that exposes them to be sad little fakers which still gets you talked about by your friends, but not in a good way. More like, "Can you believe Gretchen faked cancer? She's so desperate...its 'cause she put on those few extra pounds, and its not going to distract us from the fact that she had an abortion."
So, to help my readers out, here are a few pointers to make your "cancer" scare seem that much more real:
1. Do NOT shave your head: That is just dumb. Chemo doesn't make your hair break at the very root- it makes it fall out. So shaving your head does nothing to prove you have cancer- and most people look horrible with a shaved head so its not even worth it. (ie. John Rob.)
2. Find a scar: Why should you find a scar? Because that's the place where they took the tumor out. A basic and safe form of cancer is a lymph node that got some cancer in it- and lymph nodes are all over your body so the scar can be anywhere. Just say you were showering one day, felt the lump and the doctors took it out immediately.
3. Avoid personal contact: Make sure no one sees you for at least two weeks. This gives the "scar" time to heal and for you to go on a diet that makes you lose all your water weight and look all "clammy". Take a trip to Europe, see distant relatives, anything. Just avoid your friends. (ie- Crazy Girl).
So that's about it. If you follow these rules, you should get the proper amount of attention and never get caught. Keep in mind, you have to be really fucking desperate to attempt this. Like no one has called you in a week and the abortion has really lowered your spirits- then do this. But if you just feel bored and lonely one evening don't do this- it takes too much energy and time. Otherwise, enjoy the fact that people are talking about you, maybe even feeling for you, because that's what we all want? Right? Just some attention.

A Little Research Turns Up Just What I Expected- Nothing

Tara Reid
Originally uploaded by pjpornbooty.

With Tara Reid in the tabloids every fucking day- I got to wondering~ Does she even act anymore?

(btw: like the photo? Look at her nipple- it looks like its been photoshopped to look like a warped magic eye puzzle, but that really is her nipple. She has been ruined and its absolutely disgusting.)

Anyway, I imdb.com'ed her and I got the following results:

"Alone in the Dark" (2005): this is the synopsis. Based on the video game, Alone in the Dark focuses on Edward Carnby, a detective of the paranormal, who slowly unravels a mysterious events with deadly results.

That's just boring, but its obviously not an oscar worthy film. But anyway, then there is this:

"Wicked Prayer" (2005): On his way to becoming an immortal demon, gangleader Luc Crash (Boreanaz) orchestrates the murder of Jimmy Cuervo (Furlong) and his girlfriend, Lily (Chriqui).

Now this sounded like shit, so obviously my ears perked up, even though I was reading so my ears perking up meant nothing in terms of me understanding this any better. So, I kept reading and the cast list had a certain celebrity that I didn't expect-- MACY GRAY! Macy Gray is going to be in this movie!! Hahahahahah, oh man I laughed and laughed for like a good two seconds. Then I clicked on her name and it turns out she studied acting in the 80's with Rob Lowe, so then I felt slightly foolish, but then I remembered that Rob Lowe isn't a very good actor either. So then I chuckled again. Am I the only one who is excited for this movie? No, I couldn't possibly, This is the comeback film for Tara and her titty- poor titty.